I love birth stories and I love watching birthing videos.
I think giving birth is the COOLEST experience ever. In my opinion, it’s the most exciting, happiest, life-changing moment you can participate in.
I wish I could give birth 10 times . . . but not do the pregnancy part.
Both my pregnancies were fine medically, but man – I get hit hard with nausea and throwing up. I mean, throwing up all day long for months on end. It’s not fun at all. It’s exhausting, it’s taxing, it sucks.
After my pregnancy with Emme, I thought perhaps I was so sick because I was an emotional wreck. I was nervous about my health impacting my ability to be a mother and I was upset that Josh was deployed the entire time I was pregnant + 3 months postpartum.
But, alas, that wasn’t the case. I’m just one of the lucky ones that don’t fly through pregnancy without a care. I can’t lie, I’m SUPER jealous of the people who love being pregnant and enjoy all the moments.
My FAVORITE part of pregnancy is the end – labor and delivery. When I tell people that, they usually look at me funny. Like, what? You like the pain of labor more than being pregnant?
100000000000000000000000x YES.
I know that pain is going to end, you can totally get meds to subside the pain, and at the end- you’re getting to meet your baby! What’s not to love about that?!
I can remember being in the delivery room after I had Emme wanting to redo the whole thing over again – right then! When I found out I was pregnant again, I was SO SO SO SO SO excited to give birth again. SO excited.
I tried to not let my mind go crazy planning how it would go. I TRIED. Of course, I had a dream plan of how it would go, but I really tried to make myself realize that even the best-laid plans didn’t matter. I could prepare, I could plan, and I could influence certain aspects of my birthing- but in terms of labor, how my body progressed, and how my baby came into the world, I HAD to trust in myself. I HAD to trust in my body. I HAD to trust in God.
Josh, my hubby, was deployed for my entire first pregnancy and didn’t come home until Emme was 3 months old. So this was his first go ’round. It was really funny to see his expectations of how the whole process would go. He had NO idea what he was getting into. And honestly, I still think he has no idea since COVID-19 didn’t allow him to be super involved in the process. He wasn’t able to go to appointments with me, he wasn’t able to go to the ultrasound with me, and even up to the day of delivery I wasn’t sure if he’d be in the delivery room with me. From his point of view, he thought this was a very medical situation and that there wasn’t much work to be done on my part.
But I know that’s far from the truth!
Labor and delivery, at least to me, is much more than just a short period in your pregnancy journey. It’s a spiritual, emotional, and physical experience.
And without further ado- I’d love to share my birth story for all the other birth story junkies out there!
Wednesday, August 19, 2020
I put Emme to bed and ended up falling asleep around 10 pm. At 11 pm, I woke up and my underwear and shorts were wet. I was confused and thought perhaps my water broke. I stood up anticipating that I’d have a gush of water flow out when I got up, but I didn’t. I went to the bathroom and examined my underwear. It definitely wasn’t pee (won’t lie, definitely peed my pants before and thought my water broke) – this was more sweet-smelling. As I stood up from the toilet, a little bit more came out – but not a ton. I always pictured if my water broke there’d be a big pop and a gush of water. That wasn’t the case here, so I thought perhaps I was just having a lot of discharge (which I had been having all week).
I laid back down and about 20 minutes later I had a contraction. After the contraction, I felt the baby start kicking and punching a lot. 11:22, 11:33, 11:41, 11:52. . . I had contractions about every 10 minutes. Then they started moving closer together, slowly. Every time I had a contraction my heartburn would get really intense and I felt like more liquid would come out. I ended up putting a towel between my legs because I kept soaking my pants. 9 minutes apart turned into 8, turned into 6. And this went on for the next few hours.
But then they stopped. And I fell asleep around 4:30 – 5:00 am.
I woke up for work and was exhausted. I wasn’t sure if my water had broken, but I had a suspicion that it perhaps had at least partially broken. I knew that if I went to the hospital and it had broken they wouldn’t let me leave. I’d then have to labor in the hospital the whole time and probably wouldn’t end up having a natural birth. I KNOW I said I tried to not plan how my birth would go, but in my perfect world, I would labor at home until the last possible minute and then go into the hospital.
Based on evidence-based research, and the knowledge I had gained in my hypnobirthing class, I knew that statistically it was safe for me to stay at home to wait for labor to come on its own until about 48 hours after the break. I was GBS negative this time and I was willing to take the risk because I really wanted my labor to come on its own.
Thursday, August 20th, 2020
I ended up laying low that Thursday. I slept a lot of the morning away and then tried to relax most of the rest of the day. If I moved between laying down and standing up, my pants definitely would get wet.
As the day went on, I had contractions off and on. Nothing was consistent and they were definitely not intense. I was feeling bummed because I had been sure that things were starting the night before.
After talking to friends, my doula, and getting advice from my Instagram stories, I still wasn’t totally sure my water had broken. Because I kept feeling water/a gush, my doula and close friends were convinced it was probably a lot of discharge. It seemed unlikely that there’d be THAT much amniotic fluid.
My doula did tell me that I should tell my midwives and if I did think it broke I should go get it checked. But I really wanted to wait until labor started on its own. She suggested I check my temperature every so often to make sure there wasn’t an infection or anything like that.
Per western medicine, I probably should have gone and had my water checked, but I knew I had a midwife appointment at 1 pm the next day (Friday the 21st) and that was about 36ish hours after I thought it ‘broke’. So at that point, if they tested me and it was broken I could just stay and have the baby. Otherwise, I was giving my body the chance to do its thing and have labor start on its own.
I went to bed that Thursday knowing if labor didn’t start on its own, then I’d definitely know for sure the next day at my appointment. I fell asleep and woke up around midnight with my pants wet again. Then fell back asleep.
Friday, August 21, 2020
At 1:10 am I woke up with a contraction. I started timing them around 1:30 am. They were the strongest I’d had so far and they started building and becoming more consistent. At 2:30 am I alerted my doula Bethany that they were about 5 minutes apart and about 1 minute in length.
By 4 am my contractions were every 4 minutes apart. Because of COVID-19 and because I wanted to be as zen and calm as I could during my labor, I wanted to stay at home for as long as I could. My contractions were strong, but I knew I wasn’t in active labor yet. So I called my midwives and told them that I was in labor and that I thought my water might have broken, but was going to wait a bit before I headed there.
Since I had been timing my contractions since 1:30 am and had been sitting on a birthing ball with my TENs unit since about 2:30 am, my doula suggested I lay down and try to get a bit of rest before we got things going. So I climbed into bed and closed my eyes.
And guess what? My contractions started spacing out again! UGH! By 5:30 am, they were still strong, but they were about 7 mins apart. And then, next thing I knew, my phone was ringing and it was 8 am! I had fallen asleep (hence my contractions lessened… ).
I picked up the phone and Diana, the midwife working that day, asked – “Ummm… we’re a little surprised we haven’t seen you by now? Are you ok?”
And I was like, “Well, funny story. I laid down and they spaced out enough for me to fall asleep. You just woke me up! haha”
She went on to say that since I told them I thought my water broke she wanted me to come in and get it checked. If it had broken at 11 pm-ish on Wednesday evening, it was now 8 am Friday and she was concerned.
So I called Bethany, my doula, and told her that we were going to head to the hospital. I woke up Josh and we got ready to head to Jefferson Hospital. The plan was to meet at 9:30 am in the lobby.
My Mom had come over around 4:30 am, so she was already at my house to watch Emme. My Dad actually stopped over as well as we were heading out – so we knew Emme was in good hands.
On the way to the hospital, Josh kept joking that we’d be home by 5 pm with our baby. He had no idea how labor worked. I kept telling him we’d most likely have to stay in the hospital for at least 24 hours – but he wasn’t believing me. I turned on a Celine Dion playlist and tried to relax. I wasn’t having many contractions and didn’t feel like I was in labor, so part of me didn’t believe I was going to be having a baby.
Josh (with his covid-19 beard) & I before heading into the hospital! 
Josh, myself, & Bethany!
We walked into the hospital masked up, got our temperatures checked, and went up to the labor and delivery unit on floor 4. Bethany, my doula, came back to the triage room with me and Josh went into the waiting room.
Diana came in and took a test of my water. She left the room and within a few minutes came back. My water HAD broke – she saw ferning within a few seconds of looking under a microscope. So it looked like we were going to get this show on the road!
The plan was that she was going to break my water and then see what happened. If labor didn’t start on its own within a few hours, then we’d think about Pitocin, but we hoped that breaking my water would get things moving.
I got back into my delivery room, Josh came back to check out the scene, but then he went out to his car to wait it out. With COVID-19, there were a lot of regulations and rules to follow and a lot of precautions to take. I was only allowed to have one support person and, no offense to my VERY supportive husband, I knew Bethany would be able to support me a lot better than he could. And he agreed. It was something I had talked about on a daily basis leading up to labor. In a perfect world, we’d all be there together, but 2020 has been FAR from perfect!
Before they broke my water, we went through all the signing of papers and getting things ready. I really wanted to try to do things as naturally as possible, BUT I did want to get things in place in case I wanted to get an epidural I could get it the moment I requested it. So the anesthesiologist, Bill, came in and got everything signed and ready. With Emme, I ended up getting one and never regretted it. It allowed me to enjoy the delivery process. So in the back of my mind, I knew if I got to a certain point and I wanted to break down and get it – I was ok with it.
I started at 4+cm dilated and they broke my water at about 11:50 am. Within 10-15 minutes my contractions started back up and by 1 pm they were 5 minutes apart. Breaking my water DEFINITELY got things moving in the right direction!
I labored on a birthing ball, with my TENs unit on my back and Bethany pressing down on my hips to counter the pressure. I was sucking down water like a fiend and really trying to concentrate on getting through each surge as it came. With Emme, my friend Amy made me these beautiful birthing affirmation cards. I had those same cards laid out in front of me on the bed and I kept repeating them as I was riding each wave.
“I can do this. I am doing this” was the one that was on repeat through each surge. Bethany had strategically placed the “Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created” on the window in front of me. Every so often it caught my eye and it really resonated with me. I had my diffuser going with doTerra’s Balance blend and I had my zen playlist on my speaker.
By 3 pm my contractions were coming every 2 minutes apart and I was 6cm dilated.
I was doing great, but around 7cm dilated I thought – why am I doing this? I know I wanted to have a natural birth, but my ‘natural birth’ looked a lot different than what was happening. I didn’t imagine laboring all day in the hospital, I imagined it at home and coming to the hospital last minute to have the baby. (I know, I know, I said I tried not to plan it out- but come on, I’m human!)
I started thinking about Josh all alone out in his truck too. While I was in here riding each surge, he was all alone wondering what was going on. My mind then started thinking, if I got an epidural Josh would most likely come in and be with me and then I wouldn’t be in pain.
I kept going through each surge and then had enough. . . I told them to call Bill in and shoot me up! I was done!
As they were getting the epidural ready, shit got REAL. I mean, real intense. Many a cuss word were thrown out in the delivery room and I really started feeling like a tornado was hitting.
Thinking I was progressing quickly, before getting the epidural my midwife checked me again. I was now at 8cm. She asked if I was sure I wanted to get an epidural because I was really progressing and I adamantly said yes, yes I definitely wanted it.
Looking back, this is really where I could say that I impacted my labor. Had I not gotten an epidural, I’m willing to bet Wesley would have been born by 4:30 pm. BUT, because I got the epidural my contractions started spacing out . . . AGAIN. I was 9cm dilated, but my contractions were only 5-7 minutes apart. 5-7 minute apart contractions don’t bring babies, unfortunately.
Josh, Bethany, and I then spent the next few hours waiting for this baby to come! Josh kept asking when we were going to have this baby so we could go home (as he was sitting in front of me eating skittles and talking about how tired he was… like I said before, he definitely didn’t get it. LOVE HIM!) We all took our final bets on whether the baby would be a girl or boy since we hadn’t found out prior to delivery. The room was torn between girl and boy! Josh and I were convinced it was going to be a girl.
I ended up having to get Pitocin to get my contractions back. FINALLY, I was 10cm dilated, felt super nauseous, and couldn’t’ stop shaking. At 7:40 pm I started pushing and, of course, there was one more hurdle to overcome before we’d meet this little one.
I feel like this was the story of his birth:
Part 1 – My water broke, but only partially so labor started off and on. My body wasn’t sure if it was supposed to birth this baby yet or not
Part 2 – Diana broke my water and things got started, but then I opted for an epidural so labor started stopping. It was another – ok this is going to happen… but wait, just kidding, not yet moment!
Part 3 – While I was pushing, the baby’s head came halfway out, but then decided to just hang out there for a while before he finally came out. It was his final, I’m comingggggggg, but wait like 5 more minutes because I’m not 100% ready yet.
After the fact, Bethany asked me what I was feeling during that last 5 minutes of pushing. She said his head was hanging out for a loooonnngggggg time, but that I was giggling and enjoying the moment. And the best part of it was – I hardly even tore from it!
I feel like he just wanted to pause at the end for some extra added drama. Thank goodness I had an epidural because I’m sure that would have been a TON of fun without it 😉
At 8:03 pm, after 23 minutes of pushing, on August 21, 2020 baby Croner was born!
My midwife Diana held him up and said “what is it mama?!” and I said “It’s a BOY!” and immediately started BALLING.
And I mean BALLING. I started crying so hard. I was so happy and excited to meet my baby!
Josh was like – what?! It’s a boy?! We both couldn’t believe it. We both had been convinced it was going to be a girl.
Wesley John Croner came into the world screaming and blinking his big eyes. As I looked down at him I saw a spitting image of Emme. They seriously looked SO much alike.
After the fact, I questioned whether I should have gotten an epidural. Had I not gotten one, he probably would have been born about 4 hours earlier. But I got one and honestly, he came when God intended him to come! So it all worked out as it was supposed to.
I want to give a HUGE shoutout to my hubby Josh, Bethany (doula), Dianna (Midwife), Katie and Paige (Nurses), and Lynette (the nurse who helped me that first night), MJ (my nurse the next day), and everyone else at Jefferson Hospital who helped make the whole journey a great one.
I said it right after Emme’s birth and I’ll say it this time too – I want to do the whole thing over again!!!! I honestly think birthing a baby is the COOLEST experience ever. It is the happiest moment – finally getting to meet your baby.
I feel like if I was, to sum up my labor experience it would be: I’m coming! Wait, just kidding not yet. Ok, now I’m coming! Just kidding, have to wait a little while longer . . .
It makes me think – will Wes have good intentions in life, but never fully execute things? I don’t know – Guess we’ll have to see!
We stayed the required 24 hours and left at 8 pm the next night. We came home to a ridiculously excited big sister who instantly was OBSESSED with her brother. It’s been adorable to watch them both – and also scary because she thinks he’s a baby doll that she can just pick up.
I really wish you could just birth babies and not have to do the whole 9-month process. If that was the case, I’d probably have 10 kids. But in all honesty, I really don’t think I could do another 9 months of being pregnant.
Our little Wesley is the perfect baby. He’s SO chill and calm – really only crying when he has a dirty diaper or he’s hungry. At night he’s been sleeping at least one 3-4 hour stint (which Mama really appreciates!). I think the hardest part of all has been having a 2.5-year-old! I had 2 small 1st degree tears and honestly haven’t had any issues in my recovery. I’ve felt great and a month out I’d say I’m almost back to normal (except for some weight still to lose! And new stretch marks. . . but I doubt those are going away) Just like the last time, I did 30 days postpartum of Lovenox injections because of my avascular necrosis and prothrombin thrombophilia. No issues with those either – just some injection spot marks.
All in all, the whole journey was amazing and I’m so glad Wes is here. We’re so in love with this little man and can’t wait to see what he grows up to be!
Wishing you a pain free day!
