I specifically remember at the height of my disability leave, laying in bed thinking to myself, “will I ever have a family?”. I remember thinking, my body can barely function on its own right now – how could it ever support growing life and then take care of it?
This moment is one I think of alot – especially when laying in bed at night after I put the kids down for bed.
As I’m in the home stretch of my FOURTH pregnancy now, it’s surreal to me what my body has done. It has grown life four times and not only sustained me, but helped me flourish myself.
Over the years my psoriatic arthritis has had ups and downs. Of course, I’ve had flare-ups here and there. But when I look back over the last 5-6 years (my “pregnancy era”) I have to say that it’s been fairly well controlled.
When I reflect on what I’ve learned over the years, a few things stand out:
Know Your Triggers AND Your Boundaries
Prior to becoming pregnant my first time, I did A LOT (I mean, A LOT) of work to identify my specific triggers for my arthritis. I found out that many foods that I was eating contributed to inflammation and fatigue in my body. I realized many of the products (soaps, beauty products, candles, etc) I was using also contributed to symptoms. I went through an entire exercise of revamping my diet and lifestyle – and every ounce of it was worth it.
I kept a SUPER strict diet. I stayed away from every single trigger I could and refused to budge. BUT, once I started having kids I realized what I had created was unsustainable for a busy mom.
So I started exploring my boundaries with my triggers. For instance, grains are something that cause me fatigue. Before I became a mom, I avoided them at all costs. I never ate them. BUT, once I became pregnant and started throwing up 3-4 times a day, I realized I needed rice and other non-gluten-free grains to keep me going throughout the day. I will admit there were MANY times that I ate it too much and then paid the consequences (achy joints, fatigue, etc). But I didn’t necessarily have a choice. I HAD to eat SOMETHING.
Over the years I’ve incorporated a little bit of these things back into my diet- but I’ve come to realize how much I can eat and where my limit is.
Have Patience With Yourself
You can’t do it all, nor should you. And you can’t do it alone.
Before, when I was not pregnant, it was hard enough to manage my psoriatic arthritis. But now, add in a growing baby and it makes it even harder.
If your body tells you to rest. REST.
If you need help, ask for help.
You’re not only just taking care of you now, but your baby.
Every Pregnancy is Different
Through my years of talking about psoriatic arthritis online, I’ve encountered countless women who have gone through pregnancy as well. And what I can tell you is that everybody has a different experience. And even every person can have a different experience pregnancy to pregnancy.
Each of my pregnancies has been totally different.
For my first, I broke out in the most psoriasis I’ve ever had. With my second, my joints ached a lot (but I went into that pregnancy with my symptoms flaring more than the others).
And with my 3rd and 4th, the only times I’ve had problems was when I ate trigger foods that I know always bother me.
The only thing I can gleam from my experience is I think it depended on how well controlled my PsA was going into the pregnancy. Like I mentioned about, with my second going into it I was having a lot of symptoms. And that seemed to be the pregnancy that I had the most joint pain. Coincidence? Maybe? It was also 2020, so there were LOTS of emotions running wild there. I’ll probably never know, but the thing I can take away is that each one was definitely different in their own ways.
There Are Medication Options Out There
When I was pregnant with my first, I wrestled a lot with what if I needed to be on medication while I was pregnant or breastfeeding. I remember worrying SO much about it. Probably worrying too much.
But now, 6 years later from my first pregnancy- I can’t tell you the countless friends I know who have been on medications through their pregnancies or postpartum and have had totally healthy babies.
With my second, I had a tremendously productive conversation with a maternal fetal medicine doctor about the risks vs rewards of taking medication during pregnancy. I ultimately didn’t end up taking any medications during any of my pregnancies, but the conversation I had with him made me feel so hopeful that if I DID need to I had someone on my side who would help me make the right choice.
When I was pregnant with my 1st, I was on Otezla at the time. It honestly was only helping me about 50% so I decided to stop it (of course with consult from my doctor). But, since I had been taking it in the beginning, I did sign up for a Mother to Baby study to share my data with others. I’m so glad I did that because it made me feel like I at least contributed to helping some other mother in the future find piece of mind.
I know it can be unnerving, but absolutely talk to your doctor about your situation and what might be out there for you! There are lots of options.
Trust Your Body
And last, but certainly not least, might be the hardest one for someone with an autoimmune condition.
Trust. Trust your body.
With an unpredictable condition like psoriatic arthritis, it can be really hard to trust in our bodies. With the aching joints, flaring skin, debilitating fatigue- many of us start to lose that trust.
But with pregnancy, you have the ability to take someone beautiful and learn how amazing your body CAN be. Despite any hardships you may have encountered with your PsA – your body can grow a human AND birth that human. WHAT?! THAT IS WILD TO ME. I honestly find this so fascinating.
With each of my pregnancies I’ve been super sick through most of it. Throwing up just becomes a way of life that honestly sucks.
BUT, the one thing I know in the back of my mind is – this will end. Pregnancy will end. It will end one way or another. Unlike PsA, when I can be in the thick of it and find it hard to see there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Pregnancy gives us the chance to reconnect with our bodies and to start to build some trust back with it. And honestly, building that trust through pregnancy and then taking it back into every day life to manage PsA can be transformational. So please don’t discount this opportunity you have during pregnancy.
My One Piece Of Advice
So these are my main takeaways. At the end of the day, we’ll all have different experiences with psoriatic arthritis and pregnancy. If I could offer you one suggestion or one piece of advice, let it be this. . .
If having a family is something you want and you’re currently in the midst of a flare that makes you think you’ll never have that. Don’t give up hope. NEVER in a million years did I think I’d have 4 kids. Especially the version of myself when I was on disability – she NEVER EVER would have believed that. But here I am, 10 years later, 4 pregnancies later, and have a beautiful family that I’m so grateful for.
Just remember – it’s just a bad day, NOT a bad life. Don’t ever let a diagnosis hold you back from living the life you want or deserve. Sure, maybe you have to make some accommodations and modifications along the way – but you can have it all.
Wishing You A Pain Free Day!
