As I’m settling back into the routine of my daily life, I feel overwhelmed with emotions when I reflect on the past 2 weeks.
My Grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer in March (we believe it started last summer) and decided he didn’t want any treatment. How can you argue with a 93-year-old man who has done so much in his life? The last two weeks his health declined, fast. Morning, noon and night my family was over my Godmother’s house showing our support and love for our patriarch. I don’t believe there are enough words to express the gratitude I feel for my Aunt and Uncle who opened their house up with open arms. There are quite a few of us in the family, so I can’t even begin to imagine how overwhelming it must have been.
As I sat next to my Pap Pap, as we lovingly referred to him by, I felt selfish. I found myself starting to worry about my Medx trip. Here lie my hero, the person who has inspired me the most in my life, and I’m worried about going to a silly medical conference? I felt shy about bringing the topic up to my family because this time wasn’t about me.
It was about celebrating a life well lived.
It was about celebrating the love we all shared.
It was about family and togetherness.
I had spent months and months getting SO excited about my trip to Palo Alto, but in the 2 weeks leading up to the conference, I hardly gave it thought.
As the days went by I begged God to end his pain, his struggling, his fight. His last few days were so hard to watch. It wasn’t fair to a man who had selfishly given so much for so many people. His journey ended on September 1st with my trip being scheduled for September 3rd. It seems as if my Pap Pap would make it possible for me to go to my conference – even if I ended up arriving 2 days late.
I left his funeral luncheon to catch my plane to California. I knew every step of the way that he was by my side. My Pap Pap was always so concerned with health and loved to try any type of remedy. From herbs he grew out in his yard, to amino acids, to alternative treatments to a special kind of water he would deliver to me monthly – I knew that he was proud of me for getting accepted to go to Medx.
Medx seemed like such a blur to me. As I fought fatigue, immense pain and emotional baggage, I sat and was in such awe of the amazingly inspiring individuals I met and had the pleasure of see speak.
Medx isn’t your typical kind of conference.
It’s a conference for everyone.
It’s a conference that strives to make you feel included, that you belong.
Each day after the closing I went back to my hotel room and crashed. The one day I fell asleep at 7pm and woke up in the same position when my alarm clock went off the next morning.
Dealing with my mental and physical exhaustion was a hard pill for me to swallow. For those of you who know me, and knew me before the last 2 ½ years of craziness, you know I would have been one of the last men standing each night – socializing, building friendships and creating memories. But now, as I learn to deal with my new life, I have to pace myself. I have to realize that I can’t push myself to do everything I used to do. I have to realize that I can still make the best out of situations with the hand I’ve been dealt.
And you know what . . . despite my feelings. Despite my pain. Despite my exhaustion – everyone I was with understood. They accepted me for me. They didn’t tell me to ‘push through it’ or ‘oh just get out and you’ll feel better’. They knew what I was going through. They understood my struggle. I’ve never been in an environment where everyone I was with knew how I was feeling. It was such an overwhelming and emotional experience it actually brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.
At the beginning of the conference, Dr. Chu showed a slide that said You Belong Here. As I looked at that slide I never could have imagined how true that statement was.
Health isn’t just about attending to the physical aspects of your problem, but you need to feed your mind and soul as well. This conference was just the organic, non gmo, whole food that my mind and soul needed.
I hope that this past weekend is just the beginning of an amazing relationship between Medx and myself. Now, having experienced the immense spiritual power it had over me, I can’t imagine my life without it.
Since I’ve boarded the plane I’ve had about 50 different blog posts running around my head. Stay tuned for a lot of stories, advice and wisdom from Medx. Since I have so many things I’d love to share, and still have my crazy life to attend to and share, I’m going to start Medx Mondays on my blog! Medx Mondays will start now and will continue until I run out of things to share about Medx! (which could be awhile!)
These last 2 weeks are an excellent example of the title of my blog.
I had some pretty bad days during that time period, but you know what? They were just bad days.I still have an amazing life. Yeah, maybe I didn’t get to do EVERYTHING I wanted to do – but that’s life right? I couldn’t be more proud of myself for achieving what I have in the last year. And no, that is not a selfish or egotistical statement to say – you SHOULD be proud of yourself and all that you can accomplish.
We all need to play the hands we’ve been dealt. You may not believe you belong, but that couldn’t be more far from the truth.
Wishing You A Pain Free Day!
